Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize