i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
