I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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