I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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