Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize