You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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