we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
