So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
