I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
