Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
