I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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