Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
