Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Randomize
