ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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