It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
