His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize