Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
