3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
