woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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