Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize