You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This house was built for laser tag.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
