Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
