Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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