Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
