fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
