Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
