wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it because I queefed?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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