He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
