we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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