Slut skills are useful in every country.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
