I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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