it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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