I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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