we made out on top of his cat.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
