And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
