after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
