oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
