In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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