Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
