I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
