God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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