Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize