Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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