apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
