I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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