hell yes lets make some ravioli
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize