I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
is it fun? or sober?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
