haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
