Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
