i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We need to rekindle our bromance
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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