if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
