He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
God, I missed his penis.
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