Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize