Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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