So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
now i know why i became what i already was.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
