I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
not ubering you a puppy
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
