If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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