Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
