How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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