summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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