You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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