I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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