i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize