so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
