I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
