We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
