Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
sex in a hospital.. check
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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