Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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